dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
