before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You're a waste of cheezeits
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
