ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize