batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
