Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
