Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
