Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
