wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
