we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
