i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize