Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i think i scared a bird with my dick
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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