Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
