My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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