Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
