On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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