It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
