i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
