He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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