who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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