i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
