So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I am naked and annoyed.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
