he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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