I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
