she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
