Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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