i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
