the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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