you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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