i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
