and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
