i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
