I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
