I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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