went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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