Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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