Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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