I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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