she kept yelling 'call me bella'
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
