it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
