Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
