Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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