Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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