I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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