if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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