it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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