In the future we'll all be gay
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
