My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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