I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think your dad took our porno
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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