im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
