so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
