The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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