physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
