i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
