Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
