I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
