Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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