Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
