Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
