I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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