Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
