Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
