Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I lost the right to judge tonight
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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