dude i'm inner monologue high
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
