So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
So here I am, sexting at work.
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