i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I will be naked everywhere
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
